


Thanagar is a Place of the Past

by ms_sentimentalist



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics), Hawkgirl - Fandom, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons), Justice League - All Media Types, Shayera Hol - Fandom, Thanagar
Genre: Gen, Justice League Unlimited - Freeform, TV Show, justice league - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 17:53:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17187620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms_sentimentalist/pseuds/ms_sentimentalist
Summary: Hawkgirl (Shayera Hol) is summoned back to Thanagar. She explains Thanagarian ways to Diana Prince and Barry Allen on the Watchtower.





	Thanagar is a Place of the Past

_ Thanagar is a place of the past,  _ I remind myself as I fly into a grand archway belonging to the reigning palace of my old home. The smooth, almost milky, stone layers tower above me as I land on the ground level, already not liking this visit. My boots click against the ground as I move swiftly to the military ops room that I once adored, once considered as my second home. I realize that everything is the same, yet different. My fellow Thanagarians, my people, my friends, they all look at me like I am a betrayer, an enemy of our carefully organized world. It’s hard to come to terms with the fact that this is no longer my planet. I try hard to keep my head held high as I walk past all the stone desks filled with our info tablets containing notes on sought-after villains, and all the people I used to work with. I can feel my eyes tear up as they all bow their heads to give me respect, then change their minds, instead gaping and giving me cold, hard stares. I sniff quietly, my hands tightening around my Nth mace.

I walk into a meeting quarter, where a Thanagarian donning a similar uniform as myself stands looking out a carefully carved window. I stop, dreading what’s about to be said. I remember the news pamphlet a townsperson was handing out in the street, surprised at the audacity of my own government.  _ Former Officer Leaves for Fame,  _ was the headline, and right below it was my identification picture beside a bird holding a moneybag in its mouth. I blink away the memory and look at the Thanagarian before me. He turns his head a little, but does not give eye contact.

“I’m rather surprised you even came,” he says in his gruff voice. I sense the edge, the anger, and feel my cheeks get hot with humiliation. “I thought you had already gotten attached to your  _ new home, _ ” he continues, shaking his head. His golden Thanagarian headgear shines in the sunlight from the window. I grimace, immediately clenching my teeth.

“Thanagar will always be my place of origin,” I say, stepping closer. “Maybe if it weren’t for your new ideals for this world, I would stay,” I add, raising my voice. He folds his hands into fists. “Just because our leader listened to me instead of you does not mean you can talk to me like that, Shayera. Or should I say  _ Hawkgirl? _ Isn’t that what Earth is calling you now?” he replies menacingly. I turn away, surprised at his words. 

“You know, I thought that our leader sending you to pursue that criminal towards Earth was honorable…for our family, our unity. But now? I’m ashamed that we share the same last name. I’m ashamed that I even married you,” he adds, his voice quivering with what sounded like disbelief. I hold back tears for a moment, and then turn my sadness into anger. I shake with rage.

“Katar! You didn’t listen to me, not once, not for a second! When I told you that I wanted to help people on Earth, that I had grown fond of their way of life, you went right to our leader and said I had betrayed Thanagar! And now, now I know  _ exactly  _ why. You wanted respect from him; you wanted him to pity you, so that you could get your way and give him all sorts of political ideas to change this world!” I practically spit at him, only a few feet away. I relish his surprise at  _ my _ words. “Because otherwise, if you hadn’t given our leader a juicy story, he probably wouldn’t have  _ ever  _ listened to you. He would still see you as another, insignificant, obedient, underling,” I finish, my voice lowered and my eyes looking up at him to see his reaction. He goes quiet, and I can’t even hear his breathing. His eyes are lowered to the ground, and for a split second, I am sorry. But as soon as his eyes meet mine, I am sorry no longer. Because all I see is hate. Pure, sycophantic hate. Hatred for the truth.

For a startling moment, his hands reach out, still in fists, almost to punch me, or grab me. I will myself to not back down, not shrink away. I am relieved when he points to the door. “Get. Out. And don’t  _ ever  _ come back,” he says. I glare at him. “I won’t,” I say as I head out. I stop at the door, and turn my head slightly so he hears what I am about to say. “And Katar? You better not come running to me when you need another scapegoat for your political gain.”

I practically run out of there, and as soon as I get out of the main archway, I spread my wings and fly, tears running down my cheeks and under my headgear. I feel so relieved, but so…cast out. Misunderstood. Although I am glad that I finally see how close-minded my people are. I just wanted to shout, to Katar, to everyone, that they don’t know me. And really, they don’t. They don’t know me at all. I am no longer Shayera Hol, ex- law enforcement officer and advance scout for Thanagar. Or even Shayera Hol, lieutenant and instructor of espionage for the Thanagarian Empire. I am Shayera Hol, a founding member of the Justice League. I am  _ Hawkgirl _ . 

~

My high-tech spaceship slows to a stop as it enters the dock area of the Watchtower. I power it down with a key code and pull all the levers down. I sit there for a moment while the docking door closes, and silence ensues. I slowly get out, and walk to the clear, glass elevator. All alone, I press the  _ 1 _ for the lobby and wait as it rises, leaning slightly against the side. The elevator doors open with a  _ ding!  _ and I exit into a rush of various heroes and heroines in colorful costumes. I cradle my mace with both hands as I walk across the expanse of gray flooring and gray paneled walls, folding my wings a little to save space. I spot Barry and Diana at the other side of the lobby, speaking with Aquaman over the telecom motherboard computer. They’re both in costume – Barry in his Flash gear and Diana in her Wonder Woman suit – and I quickly duck away and into one of the fifty or so hallways connected to the lobby.  

Before I know it, I’m in a swarm of people, and breathe a sigh of relief. Then I shake my head. I won’t be able to avoid talking to them forever. I just really don’t want to talk about what happened on Thanagar right now. I finally get past the swarm, and head to my quarters in the Founding Hall, where us founding members find peace and quiet once in a while. I take my key card out of the side of my boot, and slide it into the slot above the door handle. A small dot goes green, and I open the door, a rush of cool air hitting my face. I quietly shut my door, and stand against it for a bit. I see my small kitchen to the right – just a simple fridge, oven, and microwave, with two stretches of counters. I usually eat in the cafeteria with everyone else. It’s faster that way. And I really haven’t gotten used to cooking in a spaceship yet. 

Straight ahead is a small living room area, where a futon and little couch make an L shape in front of a flat-screen HDTV screen. To my left is my pretty empty bedroom and bathroom leading from it. I begin to walk to my bedroom, my boots sinking into the polyester carpet, when I hear a small, almost inaudible  _ thump. _

I approach the entrance to my bedroom, and stop before walking in. I look to the right, where my dresser is, and see a yellow lightning-bolt sticking out from the other side. I sigh and step in and towards it. “I don’t remember letting you two in,” I say, and I can’t help but smile. Barry and Diana stand huddling near my wood bureau, and burst out laughing. They step out from beside it and Diana points to Barry. “His idea. Entirely,” she says in her strong voice, still chuckling. Barry feigns a gasp. “Oh puh-lease. You were the one who suggested I carry you and ambush her here,” he defends, his wide grin brightening the room. 

I shake my head and put my mace into the bottommost drawer of my bureau, then walk out and into the kitchen. I grab three glasses and fill them with water from the fridge. I cradle them in my hands and set them down on the coffee table in front of the TV, sitting down on the futon and folding my arms. My wings automatically fold some more, against the cushion as I lean back a little. Diana sits next to me and Barry sits on the couch across from us. I bring my hands to my Thanagarian headgear and slowly take it off, gently setting it on my lap.

“J’onn told you, didn’t he? About Thanagar summoning me?” I ask, bringing all my red hair to my right shoulder. I fidget with it, and hold strands between my still-gloved fingers. I spot one brown highlight in my red hair, out of many that layer my head.  I force myself to hold still, my head bowed a little but my eyes still darting from Diana to Barry. Diana sighs.

“Yes, he told us. And I wish  _ you _ would have. Since we’re your friends and all,” she explains with a gentle yet determined voice. “No secrets, remember? That’ll only weaken us. As the Justice League. As a team,” she adds, and I close my eyes. I was the one who made  _ that  _ rule. Of no secrets. I knew from experience, in the Thanagarian military, that they only tear people apart. And they’re excellent for enemies to use. I open my eyes and raise my head to meet hers. 

“I know. I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t want it to seem like I was betraying you guys, too. By going back. So I just left, instead of saying, ‘Hey, I need to return. See ya,’ or ‘I’m going to explain to my ex that I chose Earth over him,’ or something equally tactless. I planned on telling you all about it. Seriously. It was just so…”  _ hard,  _ I wanted to say. Instead I broke down. Tears that were welling up for months now finally began to fall down my face. I hold my head in my hands, too embarrassed. Then I begin to full-on sob. Thoughts and memories of my Thanagarian life come back, threatening to pull me down into a pit of sorrow, of regret. Diana moves closer, and wraps her arms around me, resting her head on my left shoulder. 

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay,” she repeats, and Barry comes over to, leaning over the side of the couch and also hugging me. I finally get myself together after a minute or two, and straighten up, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands. “Thanks guys,” I say quietly. 

“Anytime. I mean, it’s not often that I get to hug  _ two  _ girls. I practically  _ live  _ for group hugs,” Barry replies, pulling away and settling back on the couch opposite. I crack a smile, laughing a little. Diana laughs along, then pulls away too. Leave it to Barry to make you laugh, especially when you need it.

I sniff a little, clear my eyes, and take a deep breath. “I guess I’ll tell you what happened,” I start, readying myself. Then I plunge in. “I had to speak with Katar, since he is,  _ was _ , my husband, and partner in the Thanagarian military. I would have had to talk to him either way, so it was almost like killing two birds with one stone. Or one bird with a few words,” I explain. I glance at my friends then go on. “As I was heading towards the palace, I spotted a newspaper. Written by the government, of course. And the headline was,  _ Former Officer Leaves for Fame, _ ” I shake my head, still disbelieving. “I was filled with rage by then, but that…that really made me see how things have changed. It was like an alarm clock that beeps over and over again. Telling you to wake up, to actually  _ see  _ what is happening. I had to go through my old work building; past all my old coworkers…they looked at me like I was an enemy. Like I am no longer a Thanagarian. I – I suppose I have Thanagarian blood, and wings, but honestly? I  _ am _ no longer a Thanagarian. I help Earth now; I have fallen in love with its ideals, and become friends with its people,” I say. I sniff again, take another deep breath. 

“What did Katar say to you?” Diana asks quietly, reluctantly. “Um, he said he was ashamed that he married me, that we share the same surname…” I reply. Diana widens her eyes, her mouth gaping wide. “He also said to never come back. Which is fine with me,” I add, glad to be rid of him. Barry clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable.

“So do people on Thanagar get divorced?” he asks. I shake my head. “No. When Thanagarians are united, that’s what we call it, they just sign a paper proclaiming so, and the government files it away. We don’t really ‘get divorced,’ just one of the two takes the file and burns it. Katar and I were automatically divorced. He didn’t burn anything,” I explain. Diana looks thoughtful. 

“What made you two automatically divorced, then?” she asks. I sigh. This is going to be the hardest to explain, let alone say. 

“When I announced to my leader and his…minions, that I was going to stay on Earth, I was, um…exiled. And when you are exiled, you are automatically divorced from your spouse. Your house is sold, along with any belongings you don’t immediately claim. All your friends are unable to speak to you or else they are also exiled or tried for treason. Better yet, the most recent criminals I have detained were released, only to be captured again in a matter of days,” I finish, rolling my eyes. “The Thanagarian policies for exile, and all other policies for that matter, are only existent because my old leader loves power trips,” I finish, glad to get all that off my chest. So, so glad that it’s all over. 

I glance over at Diana, then Barry. Both wear faces of, well, disbelief. “Any other questions?” I ask. They both shake their heads. Barry is the first to say something. “I can’t believe you went through that without going on a murderous rampage with that mace of yours,” he says. I laugh. “Yeah, well. I don’t think Earth would really approve of that,” I reply. 

“Thanks for, you know, telling us. I know it was hard for you. I really appreciate it. Really. I am so sorry you had to go through that,” Diana says next, serious. 

“Don’t be. I’m glad I did. I’m glad I chose Earth over Thanagar. And I’m glad I can now find fame,” I add, grinning. We all burst out laughing. I realize I don’t need a planet full of people like me. I need a planet, or even just a spaceship full, of people who understand me and care. Who treat me like family. 


End file.
